Flagging Interest In The Olympics

There are too many flags that are tri-colored, and it’s hard to differentiate them on the TV screen. Tri-colored flags include the flags from Egypt, Ethiopia, Gabon, Somaliland, Ghana, Guinea, Libya, Mali….

Kollinger’s Cartoons

I had tried to avoid the Olympics, but it’s nearly impossible. The network coverage is the worst with their emphasis on swimming and gymnastics. The swimmers all look like bluefish schooling, and I keep waiting for someone to throw a line in the water.

Plus, with the swimming competition, there’s always the threat of a yet another interview of Michael Phelps’ mother.

The women’s gymnastics team is a bunch of pre-pubescent girls who have not yet developed bones. They look like a group of super balls let loose on a rubberized mat.

The balance beam makes me nervous.

Another problem with the network coverage is the unctuous Bob Costas and their reliance on back stories. Apparently, each athlete was abandoned as a child and raised by wolves, and had their toes eaten off by fire ants. Through perseverance and pluck, they vowed to one day represent their country in the Olympics.

But my main concern is this: I was talking to my friend, Alice, the other day and she was watching the games to see a Lithuanian swimmer, Rūta Meilutytė. Alice is of Lithuanian descent, and this is what piqued her interest and mine. However, when they post the swimmer’s name, they put their country’s flag next to their name. Lithuania’s is three stripes: gold, green and red.

Here’s the problem: There are too many flags that are tri-colored, and it’s hard to differentiate them on the TV screen. Tri-colored flags include the flags from Egypt, Ethiopia, Gabon, Ghana, Guinea, Libya, Mali, Niger, Sierra Leone, Somaliland, Bolivia, Columbia, Paraguay, Argentina, Honduras, Nicaragua, Armenia, India, Iran, Iraq, Tajikistan, Syria, Yemen, Uzbekistan, Belgium, Bulgaria, Estonia, France, Germany, Hungary, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Romania, Russia, Austria, Latvia, and Spain. And those are just the ones with horizontal stripes. There’s another whole slew of them with vertical stripes. Obviously, creativity is not a prerequisite when it comes to designing flags.

Then there are the flags that have crosses on them: Finland, Iceland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland.

Herein lies the problem. Iceland’s flag has a blue background with a red cross. Norway has a red background with a blue cross. Now suppose Iceland tries to gain a worldwide monopoly on Arctic char. We would naturally need to go to war over this in order to protect the huge American Arctic char industry. However, our fighter planes could easily mistake the Icelandic Air Force’s markings for those of Norway’s. An unfortunate incident could occur in which we destroyed Norway through accidental identification. I don’t know that this would particularly affect anything other than we may win a few more medals at the Winter Olympics, but it would be embarrassing.

The U.S. flag is distinctive with its stars and stripes. The British flag is the best and easily recognizable. Israel stands out with the Star of David, and Japan’s rising sun is kind of cool looking. Canada’s maple leaf is unique, but really, a maple leaf? The old Soviet Union’s hammer and sickle pretty much summed up that country’s attitude. I would guess they’ll probably be returning to it in the near future.

Flags should be more descriptive of what their country’s about. Here are some suggestions for new, improved, national flags:

Belgium: waffle

Switzerland: Swiss Army knife

China: take-out menu

Spain: bull fight

Italy: spaghetti

Germany: beer stein

Luxembourg: stamp

Mexico: sombrero

Cuba: prison bars

Egypt: pyramid

Brazil: butt floss bikini

Canada: hockey stick

Iran: mushroom cloud

Australia: kangaroo

Monaco: roulette wheel

France: white flag\

Source: The Star Democrat

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